" You could be right, but I don't think so. What are your feelings now?" I'm ashamed to admit that it was exciting, but also I can't get past the feeling that it was wrong. What if I had gotten pregnant?" My god, that slipped my mind. Could you be?" My period is due anytime now, so it's not likely, but what if I'd been ovulating?" I don't know. Let's just pray that you're not pregnant." How do you feel about me having had sex with Stan and Bob?" At first, I was hurt and dumfounded, but when I realized how I'd screwed up, I sort of accepted it."Nancy said, "It was my fault too, but they socked us with so much sexual stimulation that Mother Teresa might have dropped her britches. Probably not though. Was Jan better at love making than I am?" Absolutely not! Different, but not better." How much different?" It's hard to describe. A lot of different stuff was running through my mind. The pot altered my thinking some and Jan told me some hot stories, so I was wired. But after seeing you in. I suppose I can blame youthful stupidity, because I still cheered her on, even despite my own experiences of family life. What she had told me about her mother and brother all seemed so wonderful…’ She turned her face away completely and I saw her body tense up, fighting the bottled-up feelings she carried inside. ‘But she left and she never came back, I never got to see her smile again, never got to try to make her laugh that silly snorted laughter of hers…’ Her body tensed up even more. ‘She left me a short letter telling me that the funniest thing about me was that I was one of the most perceptive persons she knew, but that I was completely blind when it came to other people’s feelings about me. She ended the letter with a few words that I will always carry with me – ‘Stupid, wonderful Mary, I love you’…’ She turned around to face me and started singing. ‘My insides all turned to ash, so slow And blew away as I collapsed, so cold A black wind took them away, from sight And held.
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